Witherspoon and Gyllenhaal Perfect For Each Other, But Absolutely Not Engaged

They hold hands, the cuddle chastely in public, they walk next to one another with cups of hot coffee, they seem to have such a rich and deeply felt relationship – clearly they are soul mates – but let us be clear, Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are not, repeat, NOT, engaged. "It's absolutely false," Witherspoon's rep emphatically reported today in US Magazine.   "There’s not one ounce of truth to it," she added.  They’re still together.  But not engaged. 

And yet, the tone of this pronouncement from Reese’s rep seems harsh, doesn’t it?  As though the star of “Sweet Home Alabama” would sooner accept a proposal from a probiscus monkey than one from Jake Gyllenhaal.  What gives?  Is he not good enough for you?  Has he not won enough Oscars?  Is he not sufficiently doe-eyed?  Does he not make a sizeable paycheck (well, more sizeable than Ryan Phillipe’s certainly)?  You’ve been dating for nearly a year where is this relationship going, isn’t it time to take it to the next level? 

Nope.  They’re not engaged.  Stop holding your breath.