Denise Richards Tries to Do Reality Show With Her Children. Look Away.

Should Denise Richards star in a reality show with her two children, Sam (3) and Lola (2)? TMZ reports today that the star of Wild Things (sorry, I know she has been in something since then but nothing comes to mind) is going to court today to ask permission for her children to appear with her on a reality show – apparently, one parent must grant permission to the other before they drag their little ones in front of the camera.  Sheen has stated that he will vehemently deny such permission. 

Loathe as I am to side with Charlie Sheen, especially in this sleezeball version of Kramer vs. Kramer, it seems reasonable that the kids should stay out of the picture.  Granted, Sheen probably just wishes he had had the idea first, but he still gets a point for this one probably accidental moment of cogent thinking.  Maybe Denise thinks that her unhappy family, when shot through the lens of a reality show, will somehow become funny (like The Osbourns), but aren’t there easier ways to take the edge off – start with a vodka tonic and a milligram of klonopin.  Or try some yoga, for Christ’s sake.  Not a reality show, please. 

Listen Denise: clearly you are a little insecure right now, especially when you stack the success of Sheen’s Three and a Half Men against your own rather dismal career.  But wait, have you ever seen an episode of Three and a Half?  Sit down and watch it, you’ll feel much better about things, I promise.  You’ll see, it’s witless, and quite bad.  And have you ever met anyone who is a true, unabashed fan of Charlie Sheen?  Anyone who counts him as their favorite actor, or as a role model?  Of course not, they live in shame, and the people who openly embrace him are bizarre; check out this appraisal of him at askmen.com: 

Ask Men Celebrity Profile. 

They list among the “cool facts” about him that he once accidentally shot his ex-fiancé Kelly Preston in the arm!  Sheen scared her so badly that she is now a scientologist and married to John Travolta, and, come to think of it, her life may be more ravaged than yours is now.  So cheer up, things could be worse.

Seriously, Denise, even if you just have to temp for a while, sell some of your kitchen appliances, or get a job a KFC, there are more dignified ways to get back on the horse than to expose your children on a reality show.

 I pray for you.