Archive Page - 2

 

Britney Spears and Kevin Ferderline Lighting Old Flame

THURSDAY, JUNE 26, 2008
Author: Susan
Tags: Britney Spears , Jaime Lynn Spears , KFed


bb3thumb

Say what? That’s right, it maybe hard to stomach but a very reliable source told the Chicago Sun-Times:

“The entertainer [Britney Spears] and ex-hubby Kevin Federline may be getting back together.

Apparently the time the former couple have been in touch regarding Spears' expanding her visitation rights with their sons has reignited strong feelings between the two.

Spears also was very touched by K-Fed's interest and concern about her younger sister, as Jamie Lynn Spears became a mom herself last week.

According to the source, a Spears-Federline recoupling ''wouldn't come as a big surprise,'' though don't hold your breath for a second trip down the aisle for the twosome.

''Let's see how this goes ... but something [romantic] is definitely again cooking there.''

Yeah, while things are cooking let’s just hope these two don’t accidentally set each other on fire.  Out of stupidity that is.  Wouldn’t it be tragic if like K-Fed is genuinely back in love with Brit but a horrible turn of fate causes him to sadly trip over his ankles and push his lovely ex too close to a deep-fryer at the Hometown Buffet or KFC?  Because, technically, these two might be he dumbest two people on earth so it could happen.

So why this sudden spark?  I don’t know, maybe it’s a summer thing.  Maybe once the sun sets for the season, the once perky pop singer will tell her loser ex, “That was fun, but I’ve got things to do now.  KIT!”  But more realistically all this wooing probably has to do with K-Fed needing more money, and for Brit because unfortunately once you sink to Adnan Ghalib-level anything looks good.

Ashley Dupre Is Still Trying to Sue Joe Francis

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 25, 2008
Author: Susan
Tags: Ashley Dupre , Joe Francis


293h_francis_dupre_042808

Ashley Dupré should just marry Joe Francis instead of trying to sue him. They are perfect for each other - together they can continue to ruin lives and ensure a certain level of sleaze is ever-present in our society.  But according to E!:

The game is still on as far as Ashley Dupré'scamp is concerned.

A source tells E! News that the notorious New Yorker's lawsuit against Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis is still alive and well, despite Francis' earlier claim that she was abandoning her effort to extract $10 million from his flesh-fueled empire.

The often legally engaged entrepreneur told Access Hollywood that Dupré's attorney had informed him that she would be a "no-show" for her scheduled deposition Wednesday and would then be dropping the case and "issuing an apology to me."

To which Dupré's attorney replied, Um, not so fast.

"The deposition was postponed weeks ago," Florida-based lawyer Richard Wolfe said Tuesday. "I am going on vacation for three weeks and when I return, we will re-set a new date. And if they settle, they settle."

A rep for Francis didn't immediately respond to a request for comment.

Dupré sued him in April for unjust enrichment, cybersquatting and violations of Florida's unfair competition statute and its unfair trade practices act for trying to peddle barely legal footage of her shot in 2003 after she unintentionally made a name for herself this year when ex-New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer was caught frequenting an NYC escort service.

Oh really? That’s a lot of $$ she’s going after for...ummm...cybersquatting? What the hell is that?  Whatever it is I’m sure she’s gotten paid for it before.  Seriously, this girl should be in jail.  I mean, if this were an episode of Law & Order Sam Waterson would’ve gotten this girl’s confession, nailed Spitzer, AND would've still had enough extra dirt to throw this little ho in the slammer. 


RedOne Calls Heidi Montag a Star But It’s The Reefer Talking

TUESDAY, JUNE 24, 2008
Author: Susan
Tags: Heidi Montag , Spencer Pratt


montag6

Famed Moroccan and Swedish producer, RedOne, who has worked with the likes of Kat Deluna, Shakira, and Wyclef Jean, can now add Heidi Montag to his list of musical talents, but this of course probably happened during a moment when a slight ripple in time split the earth’s atmosphere for a fracture of a nano-second, and by a stroke of ill-fate, caused a screw to come loose in RedOne’s brain at the exact moment he inhaled a too-tightly-packed blunt. After a temporary set-back in his mental capacities, he agreed to produce Montag’s new single “Fashion” and then said these words to usmagazine.com in an interview:

Us: Tell Us about "Fashion." - It sounds amazing. The song is all about fashion and all about her - shopping, clothes, her whole aura. She's really taken it to the next level.... We are working on more [songs], and it's crazy, shocking stuff that will surprise everybody.

See that’s the reefer talking.  No one talks about auras, let alone Heidi Montag’s aura which might sting your eyes like the sheen off fiberglass on a hot day.

So you wrote "Fashion?" - Yes. I'm writing and producing her whole album. We are going to do it big. She finally found someone she connected with — me. It's all about the connection. When it doesn't work with an artist, it doesn't work. With her, it's perfect. You can tell in the music that we connect.

You mean someone other than Heidi wrote those lyrics?? – and it’s not Spencer?  Crap, no one can be that dumb.  It must be the reefer talking.

Can Heidi sing? - Definitely. She's really good, and I love her personality and the way it comes through in a song. She makes you believe it. She's great in the studio.

All I’ve ever wanted to believe in is magic, but I’m not sure Heidi’s making that happen.  Maybe I need a reefer.

What does Spencer do in the studio? - He just chills - he loves listening to her.

Obviously, he's also picking at a hang nail and bleaching his hair with a toothbrush.

Will she sign to a label soon? -We don't want to talk about that yet. We have offers and big things, but [we're] taking our time. The label is the easiest part. Once you find the right music, it's over!

Where do you see her career going? -I definitely think she's a star. She has a star quality — a powerful personality with no limits. She can do anything and make it sound credible. She's a born star.

See, after the ripples in time meld back into the smooth molecular equilibrium of the atmosphere as we know it, and the mental capacities of RedOne returns once more, he’s going to have a bad case of dry mouth and a hankering for pudding pops and maybe it’ll take a day or two, but all this will come back to him and he’s going to need another reefer to forget it all.  Fortunately, I vow to be there when this happens.  What a win-win for me.  I could provide a shoulder to cry on as well as pull out a silver case of quality weed for somone who deserves it.


Dad: "Poor Amy won't listen to me," but is crack really the problem ?

TUESDAY, JUNE 24, 2008
Author: Olena
Tags: Amy Winehouse


teeth-amy-winehouse-400a0718071

What do you do when you’ve fucked up as a parent and your daughter turned celebrity won’t listen to you anymore? You tell the national newspaper that your daughter will be “sitting there like an old person with a mask over her face struggling to breathe” if she doesn’t stop smoking crack.  That’s what Mitch, Amy Winehouse’s obviously over-concerned father did.   Doesn’t he understand that it is really his daughter’s delicate emotional state that needs tending to?  After all, the reason she was in the hospital in the first place was because she fainted when she realized that the Canadian fans who had been waiting in front of her house all day left.

That delicate emotional state obviously comes from the fact that Mitch’s daughter is a spoiled brat.  After all, who would expect their fans to wait outside until they could catch a glimpse of their object of worship?  It was probably a hot day.  The fans themselves could have fainted from the heat.  That would have made more sense.  Then Mitch wouldn’t have been so worried about his daughter’s crack habit.  He could have told the Sunday Mirror something like, “If my daughter doesn’t stop torturing her fans soon, she’ll be sitting there like an old person with crumpled fan letters in her hands struggling to remember the day she was famous.”    

Surf-Tards Come To Matthew McConaughey’s Rescue

MONDAY, JUNE 23, 2008
Author: Susan
Tags: Matthew McConaughey


matthewma

Matthew McConaughey - the actor known for perpetulally being shirtless and for appearing in whatever random movie that pays him more than a mil – has a new fan club. Apparently McConaughey found himself the object of what looked like an old fashion rumble this Saturday in Malibu when a gang of surfers came to his aide and attacked paparazzi who where sneaking shots of the movie star as he was simply trying to ride some waves.  According to E!:

“One shutterbug told police that a mob of surfers approached the photogs near Paradise Cove where the often-shirtless actor was surfing with friends. The surfers demanded everyone stop filming and taking pictures, but when that didn't happen, things got physical.

"[The surfers] formed a semicircle in front of his camera and they said  [McConaughey] didn't want him to film," Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department spokesman Steve Whitmore told the Los Angeles Times. "They got into an argument, and [the photographer] indicated that he received injuries...[The surfers] took the video camera and threw it in the water."

Wow, what an astonishing display of wolf-like pack behavior and pure man-love.  Check out the video from TMZ.  My favorite part is when the surfers are amping up for the attack and one of them yells “Get a real job,” at a photographer, and then the photographer yells back, “This IS a real job.  What do you do?” 

Meanwhile, as seen in the video, McConaughey was still floating in the water as the brawl broke out.  I’m not sure if pride could’ve been felt while watching this particular group of surfers fight in his honor.  They did seem jobless.  And pudgey.  And they weren’t even surfing.  It’s pretty likely they retreated to their group home after this harrowing display of surf-tardism. 

Lynn Spears Experiences The Miracle of Life

FRIDAY, JUNE 20, 2008
Author: Susan
Tags: Jaime Lynn Spears


jamie-lynn-pregg-blog

Teen pregnancy may be at a thirty year low in this country, but you couldn’t tell it from looking at trampy ex-Disney star Jamie Lynn Spears, who yesterday gave birth to a girl. The child was christened Maddie Briann.  I can only assume that she made this name up after playing with Scrabble tiles at the kitchen table in abject boredom for nine months.  If there were some kind of pageant for pregnant teenagers, she would be wearing the tiara right now, along with Miss Tennessee, Miss Arkansas, and Miss Texas.  Sorry, I do need to keep that North Easterner bigotry a little more in check.  I’ll tell you what, South, when your representative youth stops wearing confederate flag shirts and getting pregnant, I’ll stop making these sweeping generalizations about you.

Her fiancé, 19-year-old Casey Aldridge, is employed as a pipe layer (and apparently it’s a hobby as well).   

While liberal, arugala-eating, North Easterners like myself are baffled by this sad development in the young woman’s life, it was treated as a fairly normal development among her peers in McComb, Mississippi where it is quite normal to saddle teenagers with the responsibilities of motherhood.  Perhaps, though, I should be more optimistic.  She could still go to night school.   

Lindsay Lohan On Set Of Labor Pains

FRIDAY, JUNE 20, 2008
Author: Susan
Tags: Lindsay Lohan


lindsay-lohan-absfront

In case you’ve forgotten about her, Lindsay Lohan is shooting a new movie in North Hollywood called Labor Pains that involves baseball. Again, the film wouldn’t be complete without a few shots that remind us that LiLo, is our generation’s America’s sex symbol (you know, like Marilyn Monroe as New York Magazine so sagely pointed out).

Here she is lifting her shirt to show us her toned tummy, and then here she is walking around and lifting her shirt to show us her toned tummy, and then there she is texting Calum Best who according to London tabloids has become one of her suitors

I can’t really buy Lindsay has any “suitors” – it must just be British talk for you know a relic term left over from say Jane Austen days when there was social courtship and stuff.  By “suitor” I’m sure even the stand-up London tabloids mean fuck-buddy or some random lay, at least in LiLo’s case.  (Who was that genius that coined her “the strawberry boozer”? – I wanted to marry that guy or girl.)  Anyway, it’s been reported Calum has been trying to rekindle their former romance – according to the Mirror: “Calum can’t wait to see Linds - whenever they meet they always seem to get it on. Lindsay couldn’t get enough of his bedroom antics [in the past].”  That’s some serious suitor moves there.  Classy.  Smooth.  Romantic.