Earth Forgot Tom Cruise Was Crazy For Awhile, But Now Hes Building A Bunker To Protect Against A Huge Space AttackFRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 2007
Tags: Katie Holmes , Scientology , Suri , Tom Cruise
Tom Cruise is planning to build a $10 million underground bunker at his Colorado mansion to protect himself (and I guess Katie Holmes & Suri) from an attack by Xenu. It has been reported (by Scientologists and the mentally ill) that Xenu had attacked planet Earth before, 75 million years ago, by lining humans up along volcanoes and taking their lives by way of hydrogen bombs. But 75 million years later, Tom Cruise is 100% ready.
According to Metro UK: A source close to the Mission Impossible star says the hide-away based at his Colorado mansion in Telluride, is 'a self-contained underground system where up to 10 people can survive for years.' The bunker will be installed with 'a state of the art air purification system' and has storage space for survival equipment and years worth of supplies. According to internet sources, Scientologist believe the evil deposed galactic ruler 'Xenu' is planning an imminent revenge attack on earth."
There was a glorious time when people openly ridiculed Tom Cruise for being clearly insane who could forget his feud with Brooke Shields over the use of anti-depressants as a treatment for postpartum depression, and who could forget when he almost choked Oprah on her own show because he was trying to prove he wasnt gay by proclaiming his love for Katie Holmes...there was a whole trail of evidence that people chose not to ignore. Then suddenly, almost overnight, Tom Cruise was O.K. How did this happen? Perhaps because Katie Holmes looked kind of normal and she married him. Perhaps because baby Suri wasnt born with hooves and a space antenna. But hopefully as we watch Tom Cruise diligently build his bunker, we will slowly pull the veil from our eyes and say, Oh yeah, that motherfu*kers batshit crazy.