Aquarius Gets Serious: Paris Hilton's LA Jail Riot Injuries 14 for a Pint of Jack & Marborough Reds

Love her or hate her, but Paris Hilton (26, Aquarius), has never appeared so smart!  Perhaps due to Mar' s war bound alignment with the new moon, and Pluto' s irregular orbit around Neptune...the notorious party girl has managed to successfully insight a prison revolt inside LA county jail that injured 14 guards and inmates (both women and men).  How did she do it? - well, she offered to share her bunk with anyone who could get her a pint of Jack Daniels and a carton of Marlborough Reds.  According to "LA County Jail Insiders", violence and looting tore through the facility only minutes following the heiress' challenge. 


 This is pretty clever for a girl who' s known for being pretty dumb.   Dear Aquarius, thats just it.  Today' s Mars-lunar alignment will send strange bolts of clarity that will transform into extremely effective ideas inside your head -- no matter what your goals may be.  You have the mental prowess to move the masses, all you have to do is come down to earth, Aquarius!  Like I said, Paris never looked so smart: no she didn' t get her pint of Jack or that carton of Reds and sure she was slapped with another 45 days in jail by a judge, but sources say the film rights for "Hard-time with Hilton" have been offered up for 28 Million dollars plus 15% of box office receipts.  Ouch! - so smart, she should wear glasses.