paris hilton manchurian candidate

 

Is Paris Hilton the New Manchurian Candidate?

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 29, 2008
Author: John
Tags: Paris Hilton


paris_hilton_at_the_beach

“There are two kinds of people in this world: Those that enter a room and turn the television set on, and those that enter a room and turn the television set off.” --Raymond Shaw (Laurence Harvey) The Manchurian Candidate


The Manchurian Candidate (the original 1962 version starring Frank Sinatra, not the recent remake with Denzel Washington) is a great movie. It’s a cold-war era chiller about a returning Korean War hero (Raymond Shaw) who has been brainwashed by Chinese intelligence agents to be an assassin.  Shockingly, his control agent in the U.S. is none other than his mother, Mrs. Iselin, played by Angela Lansbury of later Murder She Wrote fame.  Mrs. Iselin, in a further twist, is married to Senator John Yerkes Iselin, a blow-hard right wing communist baiter (for you history buffs, think Sen. Joe McCarthy) who is plotting a bid for the White House.  Mrs. Iselin uses her son, Raymond, to kill off foes of her husband one-by-one so he will be in a grater position for the presidency.  The way she induces his compliant violence is to play solitaire with him, and when the Queen of Hearts is revealed, he goes into a trance whence she places the command to kill.  In the end, the entire scheme is sniffed out and stopped by a sweaty, twitching and utterly appealing Frank Sinatra.

So it also must be with Paris Hilton—she’s under some sort of mind-control.  How else to explain the degrading choices she continues to make in the quest for fame and fortune?  There must be some publicist in her midst that has the keys, so to speak, to her gray matter.  Maybe instead of a game of solitaire she is given a copy of Vogue to look through, falling into a stupor whenever she spies a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes.  Then the suggestion is given:  “Dance on a tabletop tonight like a lopsided praying mantis.”  Or “Date the Dutch-oven pizza boy.”   Or, as In Touch magazine is reporting, “agree to be on a new reality television series to search for a best friend.” 

That’s right, MTV is launching a new show where a group of girls will share a house in LA and compete to become the heiress’ new best friend.  “I’m really excited about this concept—I’m going to meet a lot of great girlfriends,” Hilton said.  Also, “I never got to go to college and this will be my chance to be in a sorority and have that experience. 

Finally, Hilton says she’s looking for a friend who is a little different from her current Hollywood companions.  I guess she didn’t make any pals in the clink when she was recently there for drunk driving.