Do You Promise to Love, Cherish...and Orgasm on Camera...

80's rocker Billy Idol once sang about a "White Wedding," and now Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon, the phallic portion of the infamous Paris Hilton porn tape, will soon (according to TMZ) have one--at the Little White Wedding Chapel in Vegas, no less.   Salomon, once married to Beverly Hills 90210 star, Shannen Doherty, is rumored to have made millions off the amateur smut film, "One Night in Paris," in which he, as Austin Powers might say, "shagged the hotel heiress silly."  Randy Rick has been spotted snarking the former Baywatch star for a month or so, which is a bit longer than her usual prenuptial courtships.  They each have been married three times before, and each have children, so a bit of Brady Bunch combining is in the air.   Might we fan the  flame of this metaphor with a satirical take on the beloved 70's series theme song: 

 

(Set to the Brady Bunch Theme)

Here's the story,
Of a vapid vixen,
Who was toting around a pair of silicon breasts.
But they had started to deflate,  
A sagging downer,  
Which made her most depressed.

Here's a story,
Of a man name Ricky,
Who was busy making pornos of his own,
He liked to film his girlfiends,
When they weren't looking,
And send them out on I-Phone
Till the one day when the vixen met this Ricky,
and they knew their lust was stronger than spiked punch
So these two,
Can't wait to screw on camera
And become the pay-per-view bunch
(Chorus) The pay-per-view bunch, the pay-per-view bunch
Pam and Rick are the pay-per-view bunch!