Lynn Spears Experiences The Miracle of Life

Teen pregnancy may be at a thirty year low in this country, but you couldn’t tell it from looking at trampy ex-Disney star Jamie Lynn Spears, who yesterday gave birth to a girl. The child was christened Maddie Briann.  I can only assume that she made this name up after playing with Scrabble tiles at the kitchen table in abject boredom for nine months.  If there were some kind of pageant for pregnant teenagers, she would be wearing the tiara right now, along with Miss Tennessee, Miss Arkansas, and Miss Texas.  Sorry, I do need to keep that North Easterner bigotry a little more in check.  I’ll tell you what, South, when your representative youth stops wearing confederate flag shirts and getting pregnant, I’ll stop making these sweeping generalizations about you.

Her fiancé, 19-year-old Casey Aldridge, is employed as a pipe layer (and apparently it’s a hobby as well).   

While liberal, arugala-eating, North Easterners like myself are baffled by this sad development in the young woman’s life, it was treated as a fairly normal development among her peers in McComb, Mississippi where it is quite normal to saddle teenagers with the responsibilities of motherhood.  Perhaps, though, I should be more optimistic.  She could still go to night school.