Lindsay Lohan uses her SUV as a human hunting device

Lindsay Lohan can hardly be blamed for using an SUV as a human-hunting device.  I mean it's her lawyer's fault, really.  Blair Berk promised to swoop down to rescue her at the first sign of distress – i.e. the flashing signal of her alcohol-detecting anklet. Promises are promises Mrs. Berk! Or perhaps daddy's to blame – a family-centered crab like Lohan is obviously deeply affect by her parent's divorce.  No wonder she pockets her friend's drugs. 


 One thing is for sure, if this manic cancer is put behind bars, a confederacy of fire-crotch enthusiasts will be picketing at the gates.