Lindsay Lohan Might Check Out of Rehab This Week

Well, aren’t you excited? The 21-year-old star of Mean Girls was making rehab look so cool – hey, you can check-out and buy a beer and then check right back in, watch movies with your friends during a once-a-week hotel privilege, take care of horses, reunite with Dad, and have sex in the bathroom with fellow addicts likeTony Allen.  But, if she leaves the Cirque Lodge facility in Utah this weekend Linds will probably miss her chance to boink Heather Locklear’s ex/Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora!  Luckily, a friend of Lohan’s has told a paper, "I don't think she knows yet.”  A sudden departure from rehab wonderland would be like dipping a kitten into a lake, and this does seem extremely cruel and unnecessary.  Don’t you think Linds deserves to pet horses?  She’ll miss them you know.  It’s best LiLo doesn’t know yet.