Ellen Degeneres Steps in Doggie Doo

Access Hollywood News has been all over Ellen DeGeneres’ recent canine calamity. If you didn’t see Ellen’s sobbing semi-hysterical mea culpa on her show the other day, we’ll fill you in.  Seems Ellen scored a rescued pup – a Brussels Griffon mix terrier named Iggy – from the Mutts and Moms adoption agency.  However, after a few days living with the bow wow, Ellen and her paramour, the comely former star of Alley McBeal, Portia Rossi (she is also the ex lover of Ringo Star’s daughter, by the way), they decided the pooch was not a good personality fit with their cats.  So Ellen gave the dog as a gift to her hairdresser (Ellen has a hairdresser?) who has two young daughters who have long wanted a doggy.  All’s good, right?  Well, no.  The two owners of Mutts and Moms found out about Ellen’s passing on the dog to the hairdresser, and demanded that the hairdresser come in and file papers and answer questions so they could sanctify this new union.  Mutts and Moms says the hairdresser refused, so, by the rights stated in their original contract with Ellen, they had police sent out to retrieve Iggy, who was then rerouted into another new home.  This dog snatching sent Ellen off the deep end, and she resembled more her once goofy gal pal Anne Heche (famous for wandering around town in an ecstasy daze one day knocking on people’s doors and saying she was God).  The Mutts and Moms owners say that Ellen’s TV meltdown has brought upon them death threats and ruined their business.  

 

Because the humans involved in this mess can’t seem to get it together, one can only imagine what Iggy would say: 

 

SB:  Iggy, how are you doing?  This must be a traumatic time for you.
Iggy:  Pant...Pant...Pant
SB:  Have you spoken to your former owner, Ellen Degeneres, since this problem arose?
Iggy:  Pant...Pant...Pant
SB:  Are you planning any legal action against Mutts and Moms or Ellen Degeners?
Iggy:  Pant...Pant...Pant
SB:    Is it true you’ve been approached by the Dancing with the Stars people to perform next season.?”
Iggy:  Pant...Pant...Pant

SB:  Okay.  Thank you for your time.
Iggy:  You’re welcome.