Clooney Spooked By Terrible Presence In His Neighborhood: Britney Spears

Did you know that George Clooney and Britney Spears are neighbors? That’s okay, Clooney didn’t know either, until the night early this month when, during a “custodial dispute” she was carted off to the hospital under the strobe-lit glare of the paprazzi.  On huffingtonpost.com, today, Clooney tells the salty tale: 

"I'd gone upstairs, and I came out and I'm in a robe. All of the sudden I see all this s--t going on.  I have a guest house where my assistant sometimes is, and I think, someone has broken out of prison and like escaped, because it's a chase scene. It's something out of Die Hard.  I get my baseball bat, which is what you always get in every film – I actually think Clive Owen said, 'Get a baseball bat' – and I called up my assistant, who I thought was in the guest house, and I said, 'Are you OK?'  And she's like, 'Yes.'  And I said, 'Look, if there's someone in the place, say the word Stonehenge.'  And she's like, 'What the fuck are you talking about? I'm in my apartment.'  I go, 'You're not in the guesthouse?'  'No.'  So I'm, like, 'Well, then, what the fuck is going on?' And I go out and I'm running around with a baseball bat in my robe.  And it turns out it's Britney Spears' house is like, 300 yards from mine. So now I have to move."

It seems plausible that Clooney wouldn’t know she was nearby, perhaps Brit had never came over to borrow an egg or a cup of sugar; but then it would have been nice for Clooney to just once invite his new neighbor over for some steak tips when he was having a barbecue – that’s just good neighborly etiquette, no?  He was too much in his own world to even wave to her from his ride-on mower.  And why the hell does he own a baseball bat, is he in little league or something?