The Britney Saga

A classic American celebrity tale is being played out with the dizzying downfall of Britney Spears. Pedaled to the public in the late 90’s as a singing Shirley Temple, a breast-enhanced virginal teen who vowed to keep her privates pure and unfettered until marriage—or at least until her then boyfriend J. Timberlake sprouted a few pubic hairs of his own.  Her ascent into pop stardom was without parallel; her wealth eclipsed the national debt; she endorsed colas and crémes, burgers and scents; millions of young girls and (some) boys around the world wanted to be just like her.  But once at the apex of the fame mountain, her footing, shall we conservatively say, loosened—and the subsequent slide has been phenomenal.  Drunken falls and drug-fueled calls...panty-less spreads and shaved heads...K-Fed blues and too many ludes....do we need to go on?  So now she’s lost custody of her two young boys, the tykes placed by an L.A. family court judge into the slippery (except when it comes to taking her money) hands of her rapper-wannabe ex-hubby.  But stay tuned, folks, because America loves a reclamation project almost as much as tearing something down.  Trust us, now is the time to buy low—as stock in Britney Inc. can only go up from here.