A Touching, But Sort of Icky, Mother-Daughter Reunion for Brit

Nothing brings together family like a home invasion, especially when the burgled booty is a sack of homemade Britney Spears sex videos and other kinky paraphernalia. According to monstersandcritics.com, Brit’s dungeon of sexy outfits was burglarized last night of numerous provocative items (“Some of the uniforms Britney allegedly wears for kinky sex games and personal pictures of her sons, two-year-old Sean Preston, and one-year-old Jayden James, were also taken.”).  Hours later the fallen pop singer was seen shopping with her estranged mother, Jamie Lynne, who may or may not be up to the parental duties of comforting her sort of slutty daughter.  Perhaps she tucked her into bed with a nice cup of hot cocoa and a marshmallow, and read her a bedtime story from the Marquis de Sade. 

One can hardly speculate the Sotheby’s resale value of Brit’s stolen cache, but right now there are several million balding 40-year-old losers ready to place their bids (I have no source to back this up, just pure intuition). 

That said, you can’t put a price on family, and if it takes this kind of crisis to bring the Spears women together, so be it.