“Oops....I’m only being a Centaur.”

Patrons of the Chateau Marmont Hotel’s upscale eatery were said to be “disgusted” by Britney Spears’ recent lack of table manners.  According to fellow diners, the troubled pop tart was “acting weird,” looked “out of it,” and proceeded to “smear” gourmet food from her plate across her face.  Her behavior warranted an immediate expulsion from the restaurant, and a subsequent ban from ever entering again. 

Coming off her strange and disastrous performance at the VMA awards, one might think the TOXIC singer’s crude conduct at the Marmont is just a further sign of mental decline.  But we at Starbuddies, in touch as we are with the powerful astrological forces that govern the subconscious, know better.  You see, Brit, a Sagittarius (birthday is December 2^nd for those wanting to send presents or lithium), like others born under this sign, are freedom lovers.  Sagittarians are most unhappy when tied down to routine (such as eating with a knife and fork), and happiest when trying something new--be it nitrous oxide, electric shock therapy, or shoving caviar up their nostrils.  In fact, the symbol of these non-conformists is the Centaur, an imaginary half-horse, half-man creature that gallops to the ends of the earth just for the joy of finding something new.  Because the centaur is always pictured carrying in his hands (hoofs?) a bow and arrow, we imagine, when he does get hungry, he must have to dig in face first.  So how can one blame Brit for merely emulating her mythological equine counterpart at chow time?  We don’t.