Britney Spears Covers Up Damien

Britney Spears is in Las Vegas, and yeah, with a towel over her stomach as she steps into a hotel pool. First, no one knows why she’s in Vegas or cares.  But secondly, there may be a mystery that needs to be solved if we should want to save the human race from the fires of Hell.  Why I ask, would Brit, whom has in the past unabashedly flashed private parts and even blinding full-frontals, care to hide what must be a smooth sexy stomach behind that rumpled white towel?  After some thought, and a full weekend of watching movies like Sleepaway Camp, An American Werewolf In London, and The Evil Dead, my best answer is Damien.

Considering Britney's recent tutelage under Mel Gibson – during which time I’m sure he taught her Latin by watching and re-watching The Omen -- there's just no doubt a Jew-hating/sugar-tits-loving Damien fetus is making massively evil plans while enjoying a dip in a Vegas pool.