Bite Marks Found On Jayden James Said To Be From Brother Sean Preston

FRIDAY, JANUARY 11, 2008
Author: Susan
Tags: Britney Spears , Chupacabra , KFed

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Usmagazine.com reports:

"When police arrived at Britney Spears' Beverly Hills home on Jan. 3 to investigate her custody dispute with Kevin Federline they discovered that her youngest son, Jayden James, had at least one bite and several bruises on his body... Police outside the home peered through a window and saw Spears cradling Jayden in a bathroom and observed that he was not in any immediate danger.

The source says that, though at first police threatened to break down the bathroom door, they soon learned that the door was in fact not locked and the officers were able to open the door and enter the bathroom.

After observing the bite mark and bruises on the child, police were then told by Federline's bodyguard, who had been at the home to pick up the kids, that the injuries were on Jayden before the child had even arrived at Spears' home earlier in the day, and that his older brother, Sean Preston, had actually bit him."

Okay, it’s pretty easy to deduce the source of any bite mark, just watch an episode of CSI and let the cast of model-type lab techs demonstrate the power of modern forensic science. (By the way, have you ever been in a real government crime lab? – well, there are no model types in there and the equipment’s dirty as hell and when I worked at one, I dropped at least four blood samples into other blood samples and didn’t tell anyone...and no one fired me, actually I resigned to make the world a safer place.)

Yesterday, I suggested the possibility that Britney might run into a chupacabra – a creepy animal the size of a small bear known to suck the blood out of goats, largely seen in Mexico and areas in South America – anyway, if in fact a chupacabra bit Jayden James scientists should be seizing this opportunity for important research.  I mean the Smithsonian should be all over it...what are they doing with their lives anyway?

But, more importantly, I want to know how come no one thinks it’s weird that the police threatened to beat down the door during Britney’s awful bathroom stand-off without checking the knob first?  Cripe! – that means no one’s ever going to be competent enough to capture the chupacabra.

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