Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz Predicted To Have A Rave-Barbecue Wedding and Then Mini-Babies

According to Lucy Walsh of MTV's Rock the Cradle,Ashlee and Pete are already discussing wedding plans. Here’s what Lucy, daughter of Eagles guitarist Joe Walsh, told E!:

"She comes from Texas, so I think it will have a lot of southerness to it, but I also think she will incorporate a lot of the punk rock that is her personality. So it will be somewhere in between a rave and a barbecue," says Walsh. "I know she wants to have a really long engagement. They’ve still got a lot they want to with their careers."

Then E! asks the big question, “What are they like as a couple?” to which Lucy answers:

"They are the cutest, they are tiny. They are gonna have tiny little kids, and I just think they are adorable."

Wow!  On occasion I’ve pondered the nagging question of just what precisely makes-up Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz’s over-all lameness and somehow Lucy Walsh answered it for me.  Clearly they are together because they have no identity and are both pocket-sized playthings and because they have no friends.  It’s kind of embarrassing if their inner-circle consists of an Eagles offspring who would describe their taste as a cross between punk rock and “southerness” and liken that to a Rave-Barbeque.

But is that more embarrassing than the anticipation of what will be the birth of their “tiny little kids”?  I don’t know what Lucy Walsh is thinking, or if Ashlee and Pete will still call her a friend in the morning, but if I had to guess I would put my money on sea monkeys. Don’t we all want to see a bunch of moshing, glow-stick waving, e-popping, sea monkeys swimming in our tap water?  

Oh please Ashlee and Pete, please use your talents to bring into the world this wonderful new species that we can all enjoy at least as much as your music.