Dope(y) Jolie

Angelina Jolie admits, as quoted in Bizarre Online, to taking LSD before a trip (no pun intended) to Disneyland years ago. “I started thinking about Mickey Mouse being a short, middle-aged man in a costume who hates life,” she said about the mind-bending experience.  What wasn’t reported is that the object of Jolie’s hallucinatory-compassion, the fellow inside the mouse costume, was also high that day—floating on a dangerous cocktail of hot dog nitrates, cotton candy residue, and Goofy-shaped snow cones.  “I vaguely remember some big-lipped chick sucking on my tail that day,” he said, when asked if he remembered the future Tomb Raider star.  “But then again, my time at Disney was a big blur.”  When also asked if he was offended by Jolie’s depressed take on his job and existence, he replied, “Not at all.  I do hate my life, but not enough to put Mr. And Mrs. Smith in my Net Flix cue.