Amy Winehouse Will Stay In Hospital Indefinitely But Doctors Are Testing For All The Wrong Things!

THURSDAY, JUNE 19, 2008
Author: Susan
Tags: Amy Winehouse

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After Monday’s fainting spell, Amy Winehouse was rushed to the hospital from her Camden home in north London. According to the Telegraph:

Amy Winehouse's father, Mitch, said the singer would stay in the London Clinic near Harley Street for as long as possible while doctors try to discover why she collapsed.

Her father, a taxi driver, insisted the Grammy winning singer was making a recovery.

"Amy is doing fine, she is staying in as long as possible," he said. Her spokesman added: "She'll stay for as long as they can find out what's wrong with her. I don't know what's wrong with her and the doctors don't seem to.

"There are various possibilities. It's probably something to do with her ongoing treatment...They are still not quite sure what happened and the tests were inconclusive."

The spokesman denied reports doctors had told the singer to quit drugs or risk dying. A source had told The Sun, "Eventually she won't get up again. The only thing to stop that happening is if she quits drugs."

Wow, that’s a lot going on at once!  I agree they should force Amy to stay in the hospital as long as possible, and while she’s there they should give her a bath, delouse her beehive, fill some cavities and perhaps add a couple extra teeth, and use some lasers on her impetigo.  I know that’s harsh – she looks pretty damaged and it’s a little painful to make fun of her, but it would be crueler to let bacteria and other microbes to continue eating away at her flesh while doctors wasted more time worrying over whether or not drug-use had anything to do with her fainting.

Come on, "Doctors", focus!  We all know "what's wrong with Amy Winehouse."  Just look at these pictures.  This girl needs a gallon of iodine and a whole lot of minced meat pie.  If I have to go to medical school to make that point then god damn it I’m going mail in for an application the minute I get home from work.